Dos Equis to Retire “The Most Interesting Man in the World” Perhaps I could be the “Most Interesting Woman…”

“The weight of his words would break a lesser mans Jaw.”  Dos Equis 

Jonathan Goldsmith, the gorgeous actor  who portrays the “Most Interesting Man in the World” for Dos Equis beer;  http://dosequis.com/  quite possibly could be!  After reading several articles about him, I discovered that he is a renaissance man, self-made multi-millionaire, rescuer of a damsel in distress from sharks and saver of a stranded, injured hiker on Mt. Whitney.

The commercials are smart, fast-paced and funny!  Even more so now that I know the history of said “Interesting Man”.

After forcing my husband to listen to me read quotes from the “smooth Harold website (,http://www.smoothharold.com/top-30-facts-about-the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world/ )   and laugh hysterically—mostly alone—I pondered if I might be considered for the potential role of “Most Interesting Woman in the World”.         

Take Fact #1:  “He lives vicariously through himself.”   That’s a pretty nice definition of consciousness!  And interesting!        Compilation of interesting!

imagesCASNN3H3       After all, I own my own business.  I have been written about (albeit only cursorily).  I’ve been on television—perhaps by accident.  I’ve saved countless small creatures from imminent death or disfigurement and on many occasions I’ve rescued myself from bad relationships, situations and/or decisions.  I’ve helped clients and friends with good counsel (so I’ve been told!)  And I personally feel as though the weight of MY words might break a lesser woman’s jaw!

 This clearly qualifies me for the position!   (If you fall off the pedestal you put yourself on, does it hurt as much?)

       Here’s hoping you have a fun, silly and fabulous day enjoying life and laughing at your most interesting self!

In growing awareness,

Kim

 

The Year of the Agenda-less Voice –I just said what??? Perhaps silence is golden.

At the turn of the year a mere 6 weeks ago my husband and I were joking about resolutions. In general, it’s not a practice either of us participates in but he laughed heartily when I seriously informed him that 2014 for me was to be the year of the AGENDA-LESS voice.
Not much else has been said since then, primarily because I don’t like to arm him with my apparent failures!! While I can’t truly classify this 6 weeks as a catastrophic failure, nor can I shine it up and call it a success.

vintage-romance

vintage-romance

Agenda, as defined in Webster’s is; an underlying personal viewpoint or bias. The true spirit of my year of the Agenda-less voice was to not use my language in any way to convince, manipulate, guilt, shame, nudge, sway, influence, win over or induce others with my wording. As these weeks have passed, I’ve become uncomfortably aware of how difficult it is to be 100% transparent and direct. Not because of intent to manipulate, but because of pure un-examined habit in communication. Not to mention the addictions to particular dramas and role adaptations we’ve adopted as defense and/or coping mechanisms. Yet, these too, are still simply unexamined habitual responses.
In our relationship this more often plays out in seemingly innocent ways which sound like statements inflected as questions, half sentences, open-ended statements or questions. For example;
B: “Where would you like to go for dinner?”
K: “I really don’t have a preference—you pick!”
B: “Okay—let’s try that new Swedish place.”
K: “Do you really want Swedish?” (Note the agenda being I didn’t want Swedish)

 
Options here could include laughing and acknowledging I did, after all, have a preference, or conceding that I had given up choice for that meal. Instead, I gave the power to my husband and then just as quickly took it away in a somewhat passive aggressive fashion!

Other innocent forms come out as statements meant to evoke a response like;
My computer is broken; You know my birthday is coming up; The dogs haven’t been fed. With no agenda, theses are simply statements, but if they are agenda filled and the transmitter’s expectation doesn’t get met, the receiver better look out!  

 
Some of the most soul-crushing displays of agenda in relationship include using any current hurt as an excuse to drag up the tattered laundry list of all past hurts. Using language that shames like, disappointed, should, really?, or comparing to other people or situations. A devastating use of agenda in relationship is the withholding of our words, our good opinion, our smiles and our love, just because we might not like something or agree.
So the old adage of “Say what you mean, mean what you say” applies to this year of the agenda-less voice as I mindfully learn to communicate just that succinctly.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I seem to be keeping my mouth shut when in doubt of my intention and clarity of response. A silence I believe my husband is grateful for.

In mindful silence for a good cause,                                                                 

Active Listening!

Active Listening!

Kim

The insidious augmentation of self….. & The Promised-Land of “Good Enough”

(No breasts were exposed in the writing of this blog.)

I freely admit that I would gleefully title my resume,  “Professional Student” or  “Well Qualified Scholar” had I been fortunate enough to gain sponsorship or disciplined enough to live a truly ascetic lifestyle in every other respect.   My personal addiction is to self-awareness and consciousness ascension– for fun! 

Without doubt, there are far more formidable monkeys to have strapped to one’s back, and of course I feel lucky to be free of the chemical options available as far as addictions go. 

It occurs to me, however, that I suffered for most of my life from a far more insidious and common addiction that spans every socio-economic and race demographic. 

The addiction to self-augmentation through seeking….   The attaining at any cost of more—more stuff; clothes, jewelry, outings, homes, furniture, books, technology , gadgets, etc..  The list might include education, degrees, certifications and any array of letters to put after one’s name.   Maybe more is LIKEs on Facebook and every other source of outside validation.  A biggy is seeking the good opinion of others at the expense of good opinion of self. 

 

This perpetual augmentation and seeking when born from lack and neediness or “what’s missing” means we never arrive at said Promised Land where we feel good enough, educated enough, pretty, thin or accomplished enough and well—just enough!

When we release the need to continually add to ourselves as a panacea for lack of self-worth, miraculously, who we are and what we have suddenly are enough—even more than enough and the seeking ends.   This is when life is infused with deep contentment and every endeavor is undertaken for the sheer joy of the experience.

No augmentation required!    

ADIEU --Aaron Feinberg

ADIEU –Aaron Feinberg

                                                       

Joyfully,

Kim

Image

The Prison of Forgiveness

(The following perspectives are based in a belief in God/Creator/Goddess as the One)

forgiveness-cap

    I’ve been inundated it seems lately by blogs, books and FB posts about the necessity of forgiveness. The ways to forgive and how the act of forgiving sets the forgiver free.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m a big fan of turning the other cheek and letting the perceived perpetrator off the hook so to speak, but forgiveness is a construct I’m no longer sure of.
Perhaps it’s just semantics, but with an NLP background, I’m a big proponent of the power of intentionally utilized language.

My initial concern with the concept of forgiveness is the implication that the perpetrator of said offense did something wrong in the first place.

This assumption of wrong-doing creates a victim of the one labeling an action as wrong.

The next issue is that labeling inherently turns the victim into the judge. This is the trap or prison of forgiveness. It is in this cycle of labeling and then judging that we close the door on alternative perspectives locking ourselves into only one.

Once the Victim-judge decides to forgive they become superior to the perpetrator because, after all, the victim-judge has decided to take the high-road which lies up-hill of the accused.

This high-road must be Creator/ God-less, bringing us full-circle to the initial incident where Creator/God must have screwed something up as indicated by the fact that the perpetrator requires forgiveness for some perceived mis-deed.
SO…… What if, rather than forgiveness, we simply decided to practice the ascension attitudes of Surrendered Trust and belief in perfection of the present moment (for more on ascension attitudes visit www.innermasterytools.com ).

Osho Zen Tarot

Osho Zen Tarot

In surrendered trust, we believe in the benevolence of our universe and trust that all events are an out-picturing of what might be termed as mis-qualified thought within us. It asserts that everything is perfect exactly how it is showing up. EVERYTHING—people, places and things. In a simplistic nutshell this means there are no mistakes, failures or accidents. It means that everything which has occurred in my life has happened because the universe loves me enough to give me the lessons I need to truly know myself.

What if I decided to thank life for all the uncomfortable, painful, ugly and even evil things that occurred in my past as the perfect recipe for who I am today and for the woman I will be tomorrow? What if I choose to look at my past only as inspiration? How would it feel to give up all resistance to the way things show up –no longer labeling, or defining things dualistically as right/wrong—good/bad—fair /unfair? Would we need to forgive if we responded to life with wise discernment through open-hearted allowance? (and yes, vote with our feet when necessary!) Then there would truly be nothing to forgive—only immense gratitude for the way my life has unfolded and continues to show up.

In deciding that all is well and there is nothing to forgive we are released from our self-imposed prisons of limited perspective. We free ourselves into the ability to live beyond our past into the new and ever unfolding goodness of life.
Besides, I don’t have the balls to say God/Goddess screwed up!

Here’s to a day filled with only perfection!

Joyfully, Kim

Unsolicited Advice in the Social Media Age and Just Because ya Can, Doesn’t Mean ya Should!

I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough….!

AL FRANKEN, Oh, the Things I Know!

My parents are of an age and from a region where the axioms of, “don’t speak unless you’re spoken to”, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything”, and “never talk about money or who you vote for” were unquestioned codes of conduct”.   These are the kinds of beliefs that have formed a large part of my personality regardless of my percentage of adherence to them!

These implanted concepts as well as many of my life experiences have brought me time and again to the belief that unless profoundly and intuitively inspired to do otherwise, you NEVER offer unsolicited advice.  To do so is really just butting in, asserting one’s own opinion and singular take on a subject or situation that most times doesn’t involve the advisor.  Giving unsolicited advice is more often than not, an opportunity for said giver to feel important or superior or to interject their personal agenda.  While not pretty—I admit to all of the above!

I am someone who makes a living giving people advice. I am solicited and paid for my knowledge, abilities and skill sets.  While most of my work centers on leading others into their own power, passions and purpose so they no longer need look outside themselves for advice, approval or validation, initially, I give a lot of input.   I obviously like being in this position of advisor!

 

Influence or Interference?

INFULENCE OR INTERFERENCE?  

When you speak to others for their good, it’s influence. When others speak to you for your good it’s interference!   CROFT M. PENTZ

Social media has made it hard for people like me (those who like asserting their opinion!) to draw the line between unsolicited and solicited advice. This evokes the age old query of, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”!

I participate in social media via Face Book and LinkedIn.  I am a minimalist with my postings and certainly refrain from subjecting others to the mundane details of what I ate for breakfast, how bored I am or the depth and level of profanity I’m capable of!  When I see these types of postings on my newsfeed  I REALLY want to “ADVISE”…… 

3 WISE MONKEYS

 With tool bars under every post offering the options to LIKE+ COMMENT+ SHARE, it seems I am being solicited, almost begged to comment.  In so many instances, especially with the young people in my network, that is exactly what I would LOVE to do!  But I don’t.  I don’t’ because,  “If you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all”!  AND—I know that if I do offer my comment and offend, it may be the last with that person!  The potential consequences when weighed against my moment of “comment self-gratification” simply aren’t worth it.  (There are many spiritual reasons for not commenting as well,but that’s another post!)

While I truly enjoy the connection and visibility social media offers, I am eternally grateful that the misdeeds, thoughts and embarrassing growth of my youth are not immortalized forever on the Internet!  This thought alone keeps me from “commenting”!

What do you think?  In reference to Social Media, is to comment considered Solicited or Unsolicited advice?  Has social media become a tool for unrestricted self-expression or one for heartfelt interaction?

Joyfully and with warmest aloha,

Kim

4th Annual Kauai Marathon, Sore Legs and lots of Aloha!

www.thekauaimarathon.com/   

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76Tp1p5I5gk

Kauai is a small island by most standards.  We have roughly 67,000 full time residents, a speed limit that tops out at 50mph, upwards of a dozen one lane bridges and most roads are one lane each direction.  I’m not complaining—I love it.  There are certainly some drawbacks to small island living, but there are most definitely more perks.      

Into the Tree Tunnel

                                                  

 Today was the 4th Annual Kauai Marathon, and it’s the most amazing event to participate in.  The organizers do a spectacular job, but it’s the volunteers and general public who make it the most fun and unique event I’ve experienced anywhere.

The race begins with flaming Tiki torches and Conch blowers in the predawn tropical light.  At the start of the race there is no hint of the potential fatigue that climbing and descending the hills ahead might bring.

Excited On-Lookers

The course for both the ½ and full marathons runs through varying terrain and elevation changes, from ocean front, pasture land and forest to neighborhoods.  People come out en mass to cheer on the runners.  Families, couples and singles with their dogs set up tents on the side of the road to joyfully offer encouragement.   Homemade signs are displayed with advice like, “FASTER” and “You can do it” on cardboard while on-lookers ring cow bells, shake noise makers and wave big foam fingers.  Some kind people even set up their own drink stands between the official race-aid stations—because they can!

Hula Dancers in Koloa!

Hula Halaus bring out their dancers to hula on the side of the course and at aid stations.  Musicians set up their own generators to power amplifiers and play slack key guitar and sing, and kids and adults alike gather along the way playing ukulele.  Even the local group “Taiko Kauai” sets up camp at the bottom of a valley to drum the runners past the 10 mile marker.  The deep resonate sound of the synchronized drums calling you forward and sending you on somehow makes you feel lighter.                                                                                                                       

Taiko Kauai

This is the Kauai I love.  Where people simply show up for each other!  My deep appreciation and heart-felt gratitude go out to everyone who showed up today to make my race perfect—even though I didn’t win!  Much Mahalo!!!

Joyfully and with warmest aloha,  Kim

Last of the hills!

My Tooth, “Adult Onset Ignorance” & Choice

One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.”
Tim Burton

Tooth Fairy?

I was talking to my Dad after my last posting and he asked me how my tooth was doing.  I gave him the update and told him about various people’s reactions to my toothlessness.  His response was loving, affirming and perspective shifting.

“Well I’ve seen you with no teeth and I thought you were cute!” 

Of course he was referring to my childhood, but it got me thinking.   At what age does our humanity become a detriment rather than endearing?  How come when “life happens” to a child or young adult, trial and error learning is allowable and expected but after a certain age the expectation that we should “know” or “know better” seems firmly entrenched.

I can look at my own life and see countless examples of “adult-onset-ignorance” and “she should ‘a known better” moments.  Moments where my actions were far less than squeaky clean and many of which were shame and guilt inducing, and that’s just looking back a week or so!

“Self-Portrait”

Our humanity exists until we leave the body behind.  The human experience is the vehicle to our divinity making all that we go through relevant and enlightening, even our ignorant, ugly and ridiculous moments!  In learning to accept our own human moments, we will judge others less.

I am currently deep into my 4th decade on the planet and I’m still leaning through experience and sometimes not learning the first time!  Just like my Dad’s perspective on my toothless appearance, I can choose the perspective from which to view any experience.    

So what’s more empowering?  Viewing life  from the perspective of judgment and “should’a  known better”?, or through the gracious, allowing lens of,” Oh—another opportunity to learn here on earth!”.            

Crone or Maiden?

As for my current, toothless situation, I choose to think I’m cute, too!    Thanks Dad! 

Joyfully and with warmest aloha,

Kim